Not myself
"Suppose I said
I am on my best behavior
And there are times
I lose my worried mind
Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?
Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
And words will go
From poetry to prose
Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?
And I, in time, will come around
I always do for you..."
I'm not myself lately...and I'm not sure why.
Frustration level was at an all-time high today with the education department of california baptist university.
You'd think they'd want to do all they could to help me see this whole-teacher thing through...
I woke up with horrible back/neck pain. sigh...
I just want my own class already. I'm sick of jumping through the hoops that make up the credentialing process. I'm sick of being in this "in-between" phase of life. I'd love to be financially independent from my parents. I'd love to...just be.
I'm normally very positive, and an optimistic person. I'm just...not myself.
And that's okay for right now.
On a completely separate train of thought...I'm on the lookout for a new journal. The moleskin is almost filled...and this time, I'd like something different. Thicker. Maybe leather? Cool/fun design. Original. No lines on the inside. Ability to lie flat when I'm writing in it. If you find something with these distinctions, let me know...or just get it for me. ;-)
Oh, and bonus points to you if you can guess who wrote the lyrics above. No cheating.
Frustration
I could use a hug and some encouragement.
Whoever said this whole "career and life after college" thing was gonna be easy...
...they lied.
Brilliant Bows
Do you, or does someone you know, have a baby girl who is constantly mistaken for a little boy? Mothers, stress no more: www.brilliantbows.com is here and to the rescue!
Created by my fabulously talented sister, Stephanie Rogers, these bows are sure to stay put in even the smallest amount of hair. Seriously, they really do! My niece was quite bald her first few months on this earth...and so she lived in these bows.
There are all different kinds of bow types and styles, as well as a zillion different colors to choose from. Oh, and they make a great gift for a baby shower!
Go to the site, order some bows for a baby girl in your life, and show some love...okey dokey?
www.brilliantbows.com
I failed...
This past week, I had Starbucks 5 times.
I started out good...bought it on Monday, bought it on Wednesday (I subbed for a preschool class where everyone but me spoke Spanish...I needed it, I was a lil frazzled by the end of the day). :-)
Then I didn't have it again, and wasn't going to since I had already bought my two for the week, until Saturday morning. Mom offered to drive down to our local (Canyon Crest) and get us some Saturday morning fun drinks. Hey, I figured it's not cheating since I didn't pay for it. Then, Saturday night, I worked on TPA #2 all night with a friend who was also doing his TPA #2, and went and bought us some Starskies. Again, not technically cheating since I didn't purchase it.
Then Sunday, I gave in. Kinsley and I drove down to Newport to walk around Roger's Gardens and look at all the fun Christmas stuff there...and who can do that without Starbucks in hand? So, I got one.
So there you go...I broke my vow by one (technically, since the other two were bought for me).
Addictions take time to break I suppose.
TPA's and Kanye West
I just finished 5 hours of work. Yes, I sat in front of this computer and worked on TPA (Teaching Performance Assessment) #2 from 7 p.m. until 12 a.m...and it is still not done. I am on page 11 of 19.
There are four TPA's you have to complete as part of the credentialing process. Two before student teaching and two during student teaching. They are roughly 20 pages long each, and you must pass them in order to get a credential. So, yes, even with the mounds of homework I have to do for actual grad. classes, I spent 5 hours doing something for credentialing instead.
I just really hope this teaching thing is worth it in the end.
...
On a totally unrelated note, I'm sort-of watching SNL and Kanye West and his ego bother the heck out of me. I hope his next album flops, he continues to not win awards, and that someone gets the guts to tell him that they are not "honored by his greatness".
Tonight
Yep.
See you there... :-D
Addiction
No, I do not think it's okay that I visit Starbucks daily, and yes I realize that I have a problem.
I've been told that admitting you have a problem is the first step.
Now it's time to make some changes to slowly kick the addiction:
Change #1: I will only purchase Starbucks twice a week. This means that even if I go to Starbucks to sit and read/do homework/ponder life/whatever...if my 2 times that week are up, I will only order a venti ice-water.
Since I am blogging about this from a Starbucks this morning, and have already had my iced-grande white mocha, that counts as number one.
To have you hold me accountable, I will be blogging each Monday to let you know how I did.
In the meantime, does anyone know of a Starbucks Anonymous I could join?
:-)
Yum
Those of you who know me, know that in the past fews years, I've changed....
...my eating habits, that is. :-) I love to eat healthy, and love a good workout. I abhor fast food and never eat it anymore....and long ago are the days of Diet Pepsi.
However, as I was driving home from church today, I drove past that yellow arrow and red palm tree place...and it called to me. And you know what?
Sometimes, nothing hits the spot like a Sunday afternoon lunch from In-n-Out.
:-)
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I had always been told in high school that I should read this. It was recommended to me by various sources, and almost every book club I joined/website/book I read told me, "If you like this book, you should read 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'." So, the other day I was wandering aimlessly and happily around Borders and decided to finally purchase it and see what the big deal was about.
From a literary standpoint, I loved it. I always like books written in diary-form anyways (Megan Mccafferty's are some of my favorites), but this one was different. He wrote like I think (and write sometimes)...stream of consciousness. Sad story, funny story, important story.
I never had to deal with being the "awkward/loner" kid in high school. Cheerleading pretty much made sure of that...but I was different. Christ in me, His place and Lordship over my life made me different. I didn't live for the things my girlfriends lived for, didn't do the things they did or talk about the things they talked about....so, in a way, I felt the lonliness. Books became of huge importance to me in my high school years...a passion I continued throughout college and still continue now.
Most of all, I just felt for Charlie. I would like to think that if he had been in my English class, that I would've befriended him.
I hope the Charlie's in high schools all around America always have someone in their life that pushes them, believes in them, and tells them that they love them.
Isaiah
30:18
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore He exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is a God of justice,
blessed are all those who wait for him.
32:17
And the effect of righteousness will be peace,
and the result of righteousness,
quiet and trust forever.
Good times with the Lord this week.
:-)
River Trip...Part 2.
This past weekend, Ashley, Alana, Josh and I went back to the river in Arizona again.
It was way different than last time, but still, fun times were had. Usually I'm good if the sun is out and I can fall asleep in it. Which I did. :-)
Overall, it was a good way to say good-bye, officially, to summer. I was holding on for dear life, but fall has come...I can't deny it.
Ah well...bring on the stinkin' sweatshirts and punkin spice lattes.
Happy October everyone.
